6 Months Have Past and We are Blessed

In Short

It's been a while since my last post and well... a lot has happened. I could have written 50 different posts on all the things that have happened and thing I've observed since my last post but I'll have to trim it down to highlights. So here we go!

The Birth of our Glorious Beautiful Baby Girl

In short, my wife is a champ. She was in labour for a very long time (roughly 12 hours) due to the position of the baby's head. My wife, Lucy, got the epidural which was great as it relieved a lot of the pain. When Lucy was fully dilated they waited about 2 hrs before preparing her to push. She pushed for about 3 hrs, again because the baby's head was positioned in a certain way it took longer and more pushing. Lucy re-positioned herself on her knees bent over (basically on all fours) to have gravity help the baby's head progress down into the birthing canal. It worked and the nurse (who was excellent) was very happy and slapped Lucy's rear end with a big smile on her face. In any other circumstances I would have been shocked by this but I think we were all elated that things, literally, were falling into place for the big push to come. From there on in it was a lot of hard pushing.

Baby Brenna was born on July 22nd at 3:10 pm. She weighed in at 6 lbs 14oz.

After spending a day at the hospital they sent us home at which point I was like "really! you're sending us home with this new person to take care of for the rest of our lives?! Are you sure you don't want us to stick around a few more days?". Any who, we bundled her up in her car seat and I drove 20 km/h under the speed limit all the way home.

I Think We Got Lucky With This One

Our little girl was a great sleeper. I know, I know - you hate us. I don't know what to say other then we got lucky. She slept throughout the night. It kind of freaked us out because we were wondering if we should poke her to see if everything was o.k.. Surely she needed to eat or something but she was content and as the old saying goes "don't wake a sleeping baby".

Because at the time I was on contract I did not get any vacation/sick leave or paternity leave and so I had to go to work the following week. That sucked. I remember talking to a few of my friends and they slept in another room when they had to work the next day so that they were not walking zombies. I took this same approach because even though baby Brenna slept throughout the night she was a very noisy sleeper. I'd suggest to any soon to be new dad to discuss this approach with their significant other. No sense in the both of you being sleep deprived and the scale should be tipped towards the one who could possibly be fired from their job if they are not able to perform due to lack of sleep.

Breast Feeding is a Challenge

For a first time mother, breast feeding is a challenge. The only advice I can give is to get as much help as there is offered. Fortunately we live in a city where there are drop in breast feeding clinics and other resources offered for free. The other piece of the advice is to be tenacious. It's a struggle but if you keep at it things will eventually work out. Remember it's not only new for the first time mother but also for the newborn so give it time and you'll end up on the same page.

Grandparents Are Gems

If you are lucky enough to have grandparents around during the first few weeks of when your child is born, it is a godsend. We had both sets of grandparents with us and it was very helpful and we were extremely grateful. They helped with what seemed like little things but were actually big things like getting groceries, cleaning, providing breaks and advice. They are gems!

The More Knowledge You Have the Better Off You Are

My wife, thankfully, had gained a lot of insight from friends and family on all baby related matters from when you should move them out of your bedroom and into their crib to what diaper's, soothers, bottles, etc. should be used. All good advice but it should be noted that these are opinions on what worked for them so grain of salt. One of the best books we got was "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. We also watched a DVD of his which provided guidance on how to sooth your baby and help them from crying. For us, his techniques worked and watching the DVD helped us visually see how to swaddle (very important) our baby. I highly recommend this book.

I don't have a lot of followers but this might be something I or baby Brenna might look back upon this blog and learn or simply smile so for my New Year's eve resolution I will post more.

Happy New Year!!!

The Baby Shower and Some Assembly Required

The Baby Shower

Even though we were not organizing the baby shower there was still a fair amount of coordination, work and stress that we (my wife) had to deal with. It's to be expected after all because whoever is organizing it, whether it is one person or a group, won't know or have all the information on who you want to invite, what their address is, suitable locations, etc. There is only so much the organizer(s) can do, which is a lot, thank God. This was a traditional baby shower, meaning that men were not invited. This might have been a good thing as there were a ton of ladies who attended (from what I've been told).

My wife's friends and my sister did an amazing job with organizing the baby shower. They had a beautiful cake with pictures of my wife and I when we were babies.

Come to think of it, I never did get a piece of that cake :(


One of my wife's friends is a Sales and Education Account Executive at Estée Lauder and she provided a bunch of gift bags for all those who attended.

Side note - As a marketer and communicator this is a brilliant idea.

A baby shower is attended by a high number of your target audience and you provide small samples of your products (perhaps with a business card or information on where to get more) as a gift bag. And because it is being given at a baby shower of someone you know (and presumably like) there is an emotional/trustworthy tie to it. This is what you call a win-win in the biz :)

I was curious as to what people got us as gifts from the registry and also what we got that was not on the registry. I was overwhelmed with the generosity.

I mean the gifts just kept on coming. There was a mountain of cute tiny little baby things as well as large boxes containing much needed baby equipment. It was awesome and we were thrilled. Then as I was looking through all the gifts, I read a lot of those three dreaded words...

Some Assembly Required

Don't get me wrong - assembling items is a small price to pay compared to having to... well, actually "pay" for the item.

Just a few of the items (some we purchased, others were gifts) that required assembly were:

• The crib - went smoothly but since we got in the U.S. the CBSA told us that if anything were to go wrong we could not do anything about it. In other words no legal action could take place.
• Play pen - nearly took my finger off when installing the change table/napper attachment. Still don't know if it is on right.
• Bassinet - took a couple of hours but the cat loves it.
• Bouncy seats - wife managed these ones on her own with a few contributions to the swear jar.
• Dresser (IKEA) - 99 screws and my drill broke after the first one.

One item that required more "installing" than "assembly" was the Britax "B-Safe" infant car seat. Since we were at the point where the cottage cheese in our fridge had an expiry date after our predicted due date, I felt the need to get this done sooner rather than later because there's always the possibility of going into labour early.

Luckily we live in a new neighbourhood that has a lot of people in the same boat as us. I had asked my neighbour a few questions about the installation of his car seats (he has a 2 year old boy and 6 month old girl) and he, thankfully, offered to help me install mine. After a payment of two rum and cokes I installed my first ever infant car seat :)

The trick to installing the base of the car seat is to contort yourself into the car backwards, jam at least one (preferably two) knees into the base, thread the seat belt through inconspicuous holes in the base, yank and pull the seat belt with as much force as you can possibly muster and then push the clasp down on the seat belt to secure it, and Bob's your uncle!

We plan on taking it to a charitable organization called S.E.A.T.S. to have it inspected and make sure I installed it correctly... just in case.

The bigger trick was trying to figure out how to release the seat from the base and loosen the straps. I'll spare you the details on that one.

Next up: Le Tour de Montfort

The Lists

The List

I don't know about you, but my wife loves making lists. Whether it's for groceries, packing for travel, restaurants we want to try, chores, etc., it is all about "the list". I'm not complaining – I think lists are a good thing. They keep you organized, on track and less likely to forget. Being new to the whole parenting thing, having a list (or many) actually provides some comfort. It gives a bit of confidence in believing you actually know what the hell you are doing and what you need to bring this new person into the world (spoiler alert, you really don't).

The first list was inspired by a friend of my wife's who had two small children. They went to a few stores like Babies "R" Us and she pointed out all the essentials we would need and the "don't waste your time and money on that" items. It was very helpful and I suggest that all soon to be parents leverage the knowledge and experience of a friend or relative who has recently had children. We had also done some shopping/investigating on our own for things like strollers. There is an entire world out there dedicated to strollers. I'm really glad we did this on our own as picking out a stroller is dependent on your lifestyle and how you see yourselves using it, which your friend or relative may see differently. All of this knowledge was an excellent starting point to developing a list of items for the baby shower.

The second list for us was for the baby's room. You'd be surprised at the number of items you need to do and buy for a baby's room. Add to it the decorating items and this list can get substantial. If you add "do it yourself" projects for the room and you're looking at a list the size of a bar tab of an NHL Stanley Cup championship team.

Bar Tab - Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins June 2011

My wife's style is great, and she chose a simple but elegant colour for the room and decided that we could give the room some colour with the accessories and decorative items. I'm happy to say that we are about 90% done.

I'm also a little annoyed because some friends of ours who have three kids recently told us they barely used all the stuff in the baby’s room – the ottoman in the family room became their changing table and the couch their feeding chair. I guess it's better to have options for when the time comes for us.
















The third list that we need to make is the hospital bag. I've been given a lot of suggestions for this particular list, and being a fairly light packer for all things I'm curious to see how many items in the hospital bag will actually get used. But again I'll take the cautious approach of better to have it and not use it than to not have it and need it. In doing some research on what to pack I came across a list that had over 41 items. I cross-referenced that list with one we received from our prenatal class and noticed there were about half a dozen items missing. I mean where does the list end – with the kitchen sink!? I think the best advice I received was to make a list and then go over that list with your partner. If it turns out that you've missed something when the time comes then hopefully you have somebody who can pick that item up and bring it to you.

All these lists can seem a bit daunting, but really they become a stabilizing confidence-builder. During the pregnancy there is not much you can do but wait and monitor and worry and hope everything is okay, but making lists and crossing the items off brings a sense of control. It gives you the pleasure of knowing you are contributing and becoming prepared to bring this tiny little person into the world.

Never underestimate the power of a list!

Next up: The Shower and Some Assembly Required

It Just Got Real

Same old same old

For some reason I was expecting a lot of immediate changes both physically, mentally and emotionally but the reality was we carried on as usual like nothing new had happened. My wife still had the same slim physic as usual, conversations with each other remained the same with only a small portion discussing baby stuff and activities together stayed constant. It was.....a little weird but also a little comforting. Your world doesn't all of the sudden turn upside down because a + sign showed up on a stick and that relieved some of the anxiety of me preparing to be a dad. I had time (about 8 months) to prepare, learn and plan.

The first of many changes

Although my wife told her closest friends and we told close relatives at Christmas, we had decided to wait to tell everyone else the big news until the three month mark. That was proving to be a little difficult as there are unavoidable signs that people pick up on. Let me preface that my wife and I had a fairly outgoing social life and by that I mean we would, on a fairly regular basis, go out to dinner, attend various social functions, visit a local tavern, host dinner parties, etc. If there was one constant it would be that there were beverages of the alcohol variety. That's not to say we over did it....but that did happen on occasion. What I'm trying to say is that people were picking up on cues that raised suspicions. Coupled with the fact that my wife was no longer able to participate on our co-ed volleyball team, she had to decline signing up for spring and summer soccer and the ever growing bump on her stomach, it was getting more and more difficult to keep the pregnancy a secret.

Alas, the time had come. We could finally officially share the news. We did not make any grand announcement on Facebook or anything like that. We simply told friends, extended family, colleagues as it came up. For example.

Work colleague: "Good morning"
Me: "I impregnated my wife"

I'm paraphrasing there but that's how it came up in conversation organically.

It was right around that time where my wife still only had a little bump and we both thought "should it not be bigger at this point?". Then in the span of about 72 hours she doubled in size and it was evident that she had "a bun in the over".

We signed up for prenatal classes with the city, started to compare and shop for baby furniture, get unsolicited birthing and parenting advice, received a few hand me downs ....basically things just got real.

Next up: The Lists

Becoming a Dad - the start of it all

In the beginning...

My wife and I first found out that we were going to have our first baby in November 2012 (I think...that's when we found out..yikes, she will not be pleased). We had recently moved into a new larger house in anticipation that one day we would have kids. We both had decent jobs, a new four bedroom house, some of her friends and a lot of my friends had babies already and we were both pretty excited that eventually we would create a family.

My wife went off "the pill" and we didn't put pressure on ourselves to conceive, we had the attitude that we will go about daily life and if it happens.... it happens.

Let's get personal...

I think it took three tries and then one day after work she came downstairs with an OMG face and thrusted her hand out holding something. To be honest, I was a little scared and my mind started to race. Was I in trouble? Did I do something wrong? Was this an over reaction to leaving the toilet seat up?
Then I saw the "pee stick" (I believe that is the technical medical term for it) and realized why she had the OMG face. Then I had the OMG face. I was elated and then started thinking could this be true? Is this a possible false positive? I begged her to pee on another stick (again, I believe that is the technical medical term) to make sure. After seeing her doctor we got confirmation. All systems go! I was very excited and wanted to tell everyone immidiately but new it would be best to wait. Those first three months were excruciating. We did have to tell the future grandparents as travel plans were already in the works and flights were about to be booked. Our little news was going to alter all of those travel plans. Telling the grandparents was a joy and provided some release of excitement. It also provided us with an outlet to talk to someone about it (other then ourselves) and who better than mom and dad.

Next up: It just got real!